Sunday, February 21, 2010

Goodnight, Vancouver

On our last full day in Canada, we headed up to Whistler for men's ski jumping. If I was a true feminist, I'd insert a good diatribe here about the IOC's refusal to allow women to ski jump at the 2010 winter Olympics. But let's face it, I'm a bit of a lazy asshole in my old age, so if you're interested, do some Googling or Binging, and read up on it for yourself.

As someone who's fairly afraid of heights, I don't know how these mofos jump off a ledge on such a crazy ass tall hill. I'm fairly certain there's got to be at least a few mind-altering drugs involved, eh?

Here's some live action so you can almost feel like you were there, except without a frozen ass planted on metal bleachers:

Apparently the ideal body type for ski jumping is Kate Moss. All of the men looked like they were about 6'5" and 110 pounds. Not really my type, but to each their own, eh? (Yeah, your goddamn right on my last Canada post I'm gonna say "eh" as much as possible.) This is one of the American dudes. Americans aren't really winners in the ski jumping category, it turns out.

At the hockey game the day prior, a really cute couple sitting behind us asked us if we wanted them to take a picture of us and I was like, no thanks, Mr. FGD and I have been spending an awful lot of time together lately, and I don't really need another picture. Although I'm a total insensitive asshole, when Mr. FGD threw his camera at someone at ski jumping and asked them to take a picture of us, I figured I'd better comply if I ever expect to see a Valentino in my future.

That night we went to a medal ceremony for women's snowboarding half-pipe and a couple men's ski events. That was pretty cool. I'd like to stand on a podium someday and receive a gold medal, even if it's just for surviving the Barney's warehouse sale or successfully making it through 7 plastic surgeries in one day.

I was sad to leave Vancouver. Mr. FGD said I wasn't nearly the asshole he expected I would be, so I think the Olympics treated me really well. Vancouver is fucking awesome, and I really love me some Canadians, despite their insane fanaticism for some truly boring sports.

So until my next trip north of the border, or to Sochi in 2014, I say goodnight Vancouver, with love.


10 Comments, shout outs, and other gold diggin' love:

weezermonkey said...

I agree -- Vancouver is fucking awesome, as were your posts!

10yearstogether said...

Just when I think I'm going to go to bed bored and irrits, I read one of your posts. And I God-honestly chuckled a LOT.

Tameka said...

I am not a fan of winter sports or winter in general, but I am a fan of your truly awesome Vancouver commentary. 7 plastic surgeries in one day...priceless.

wan said...

i really hope i'm present at your medal ceremony, because it's bound to be pretty fucking fantastic.

amber said...

LOVED these recap posts! <3

Bev said...

Aw, geez...I'm gonna miss the daily updates. Glad your marriage survived, though!

Insomniac said...

What a great sequence of posts! Felt like I was there, even though I was snug in my 70 degree CA weather.

Ashley @ KiwisandCocktails said...

ha. I came over from AMS' blog.
I loved your recap. I did ski jumping in high school...for one year. I decided I was too wimpy for it. Plus, I never got off the small jump...Most people move up to the big ones rather fast if they are meant to jump. sigh..I even had a kate moss body back then...maybe if I stuck with ski jumping I wouldn't have lost it?! :)

Natrix said...

That's so cool. I'm so jealous!! Also, love the shot of the skier walking by through the fence. Nice composition!! :-)

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