Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Fucking Food

Like a bajillion other people in this country, I have such a love/hate relationship with food.

I LOVE to eat!



I HATE that it makes me overweight!



I truly do not understand skinny people that like to eat. (I get skinny people who don't really care that much about food. Trust me. I get it.) The ONLY time I've been skinny in my life was when I had an eating disorder. After I got on the good drugs and got rid of the physical part of the eating disorder, e.g., started EATING, I lost all capacity to control portions and got the fatties.

Ugh. It's such a fucking conundrum.

I'm not doing so great on NutriSystem right now. I hate it. I hate eating diet food. I fucking hate it. But I don't know what else to do. Left to my own decisions, I either eat somewhat healthy but WAY more than I should, or I eat really, really enjoyable shit like In n Out and meals at good restaurants cooked in sticks of butter and heavy cream.

I just don't know what to do. I hate being overweight but the fucking food always wins in the end.

I am NOT looking for advice. I'm just fucking venting.


10 Comments, shout outs, and other gold diggin' love:

WeezerMonkey said...

I am SO with you on this.

And skinny people who like to eat make me mad.

Like furious.

Serendipite said...

ITA. With all of it.

amber said...

:( i'm sorry nutrisystem isn't working out. thinking good thoughts for ya.

wan-nabe said...

i'm sorry, dude.

to answer your question on my blog, i was blessed with an awesome metabolism until i hit 30. it slammed to a screeching halt then. this won't help you, but i really think that my continued breastfeeding is all that's keeping me afloat.

and i ain't cute nekkid. trust me.

JD 2 B said...

(hugs) Totally understand on the nutrisystem. Hence the 2 week supply out of the month ordered sitting in my pantry...

ssinca said...

amen.

and nutrisystem makes me want to barf. what about WW?

Ann Marie said...

ITA x1000. When I think back to the times that I *really* lost weight, it involved some unhealthy habits. I hate to think I'd have to go back to those to fit in my clothes again. :(

Bev said...

:(

Kimberly said...

ditto everything you said.

I know you weren't fishing for a bunch of compliments, but I totally wasnt kidding when I said that it looked like you and Ruth have lost weight since the last time I saw you.

OH, and that pic we took on my camera before we left? I deleted it because I looked ginormous and not the least bit pregnant.

Insomniac said...

I know what you mean. :(

 
Blog Design by Delicious Design Studio