Monday, June 30, 2008

Leavin on a Jet Plane

Greetings from the coffee milk state!

A lot of the pictures I took today are on my camera, rather than my fantastic cell phone camera, so I'll have to do a recap once I get those downloaded either later in the week or after we get back from our trip. But as some as you know, this was Mini FGD's first time flying with us on vacation! We got her settled into her suitcase the day before....

and although she was a little anxious at the airport...

she seemed to be more curious than anything.

Our normally difficult one was an angel on both legs of the flight. She pretty much slept the entire time. In fact, on the longer leg from San Diego to Cincinatti, she was sprawled out on my lap for 90% of the flight. We practiced our synchronized snoring.

We had a beautiful coffee milk state day today, and I'll share my pics from the day in a later recap. I will show you why I'm currently feeling a little bloated though...

My jeans were already tight when I tried to put them on for dinner.

Speaking of dinner, we had fantastic meal at Trio tonight, and although my Beach Pass martini wasn't as good as it looked, it really did smell quite yummy. Much better than some of the seaweed at the beach smelled today.

Blogging on a laptop sucks. I don't know how some of you do it. Before I kill someone (I don't think they serve coffee milk in the state jail), I'm going to bed.

Good night, and remember, start your day off right. Drink coffee milk!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

If you're not watching it

you need to be.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Worker Digger

I've been very neglectful of my blog lately, but this is why.

I've been hard at work!

It's okay though; in one week I'll be here,

sipping on the state drink...

I just might bring you back some, if you're worldly enough to figure out where I'm going, and can say it with the proper accent.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

A Happy Day for the Fabulous Gays

Today was a day in history that I will actually remember! Same-sex couples were finally, and I mean good-god finally, allowed to marry! It's about mother fucking time.

I was so ecstatic to see one of my favorite Big Peppers from work be one of the first couples to tie the knot! (I've already used the nickname Big Cheese, and for some reason Pepper was the first thing to come to mind. Insert gay joke here.)

(photos courtesy of the Orange County Register)

I just adore this man and his lovely partner. I mean husband. What an incredibly joyful day for them. And I particularly love that their daughter has a very perplexed look on her face and their son is playing a video game.

Anyway, I could not be happier for my friends and all of the lavenders out there. It's about time, California. It's about time this fucking love fest happened!

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Meet the Fockers

This past week the in-laws were in town, with RV and 2 giant dogs in tow. It was the first time I got to meet Marlee, after Amber's tragic and sudden passing the last time the in-laws were in town over the holidays. Meet sweet Marlee, who was adopted from an airdale rescue (after being dumped in a garage for over a month) in Plano, TX:

(photo courtesy of my sweet cellphone cam)

She seems to have adapted quickly to the RV lifestyle.

Big Al was also along for the ride, droopy and happy as usual. He's getting up there in age, but still has a little swagger. He tried to give my Sammy a good humping when he saw her, but she's just not that into dudes.

I realize that I am lucky to have in-laws that put up at me, despite my constant yelling at Mr. FGD that I need a new car and a bigger diamond. In fact, they usually cheer me on.

What more could a feminist gold digger ask for?

R.I.P Tim Russert

Photo from ABC News

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Weekend with the Hoes

What a fun weekend it's been! (Sorry Mr. FGD, I know you were out of town so it sounds like I have the most fantastic weekends without you, but I do like to hang out with you too. And not only because you pay for everything, I swear).

Friday night started out a little slow. I admit, I was lonely without Mr. FGD in quiet Casa FGD. Above all, though, I was starving. I started the strict phase of South Beach Diet this past Wednesday. The strict phase is tough when Chef FGD is not around to make my special meals. That leaves me with scrambled eggs, salads and nuts. That's really as much as I can do on my own. I am a kept woman, after all.

Saturday was better. I started my day at the animal shelter. I'm pleased to report that one of the dogs that we picked up from County animal shelter is being adopted by one of the shelter volunteers. Lucky dog; he gets to live out his life in Laguna Beach!

The other dog we picked up, who Ms. Laguna and I named Snappy after reading her medical log (she had been hit by a car and had several broken bones when picked up by animal control; she was a little snappy with some of the vet staff according to her paperwork, probably because she was in a lot of pain at the time), somehow became an angel in the week since I had last seen her:

On last Saturday's drive back to our shelter from County, Snappy barked the entire way. The. Entire. Way. Then we had to bath her. Snappy cried, shrieked and screamed the entire bath. The. Entire. Bath. Pleasant!

But this week, it was as if she took angel pills. She was easy to walk, and wanted nothing more to do after our walk then curl up in my lap and rest her head underneath my chin. She wasn't quite ready to give me a kiss, although by the end of the day she had tentatively licked my arm a couple of times. Let's face it, I'm easy. I was won over after the first lick.

Saturday night, I went over to 10years house, where Curry's Mom was dog-sitting 10years' rats.

All-look-same dogs were very excited to see me, as I am their favorite non-all-look-same auntie.

YoungLove showed up shortly thereafter. We searched 10years' house for tequila for the margarita mix she had left out, but to no avail. 10years' answer to my text asking her where the tequila was, was "in my stomach. Woops."

That's why we're friends.

Curry's Mom, YoungLove and I headed out to my favorite wine bar in Ladera, The Reserve. Of course my crappy cell phone camera came too!

(YoungLove, Curry's Mom and me)

According to Curry's Mom, we were the only non-cougars in the hizzy. The non-cougars had a great time. Fun flights of wine and even better conversation. I also had fun taking bad pictures of all of the wine we consumed. Non-cougars can drink.

The night ended somewhat early (10:45 pm) as Curry's Mom and I had to get up early for Sex and the City with some of the other girls! (insert SQUEAL!)

Sunday morning, I met up with a bunch of the girls at the Spectrum for the 10:55 am showing of the movie. Even though I've only seen a few SATC episodes (no cable in college - bleh), I was really excited to see it after Mrs.50% saw the midnight showing on opening night and had nothing but fabulous things to say about it.

And so, nine women convened upon the Spectrum's steps on a beautiful, sunny Orange County morning.

I laughed...

(Wan, Tater, APK and LitleBurg)

I cried...

(Tater, APK, LittleBurg, MrsNorCal)

I laughed some more...

(Curry's Mom, Mrs.50%, CBB)

And I sure as hell enjoyed my company of the girls.

After the 2.5 hours of bliss were over, we headed across the way to Cheesecake Factory for lunch. Being on South Beach, I could not enjoy this:

(fucking bread)

And instead, had to settle for this:

(fucking salad)

Fortunately, what lacked on my plate and in my belly was made up for with some fun time with the snatches.

After lunch, we all went our separate ways and I did some serious shopping (triple SQUEAL!). I got a bunch of good stuff, and went home happy and fulfilled.

Mr. FGD, next time you decide to go here:

I'm pretty sure I'll stay here again.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Preacher Gold Digger

If you're thinking about getting a dog, don't go buy one, ok?

So, the shelter I volunteer at rescues dogs from the county animal shelter whenever they have room. The county animal shelter has hundreds of dogs (and many other animals) and puts them down (i.e., euthanasia, blue juice, death, whatever word you prefer) after a very short period of time due to space and monetary issues.

So on Saturday my friend Ms. Laguna and I get sent to the county animal shelter to go pick-up two lucky dogs that will live out their shelter life in a nicer environment. In the over 9 years I've volunteered at the shelter, I've actually never gone up to County to pick-up any dogs. However, I've heard horror stories.

And I'll tell you my favorite horror story, because you need to know. One day, one of the animal control officers from my shelter went up to County to pick up some dogs. It happened to be euthanasia day at County . Not only were there around 2o or 30 dogs laying around on tables either waiting to be killed or already injected, the ones that had already been injected were laying on their respective spaces half dead and alone. They get injected, and the injector moves on in assembly line form to the next one. No one sits with the dog while they take their final breaths. There is no comfort. There is just a dog, alone, gasping its last breaths, staring at only a cement wall.

I tell you this because this would not have to happen if people would (a) spay and neuter their pets (b) not get rid of their pets because they decide to move and don't want to find a place to live that will let their pet live there too (c) not decide they just don't feel like keeping their pets anymore (d) not be such fucking dumbshit assholes.

So, don't go to a breeder or even worse, a pet store, and buy a fucking dog. Go to your shelter or rescue organization or whatever and save some poor animal's life from a lonely death. Because I cannot go to a shelter again and look at a dog peering out at me with the saddest of sad eyes, and know that today might be his last day on earth, maybe because of you.

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