Monday, May 12, 2008

Geekfest 2008 (or, Dancing with the Stars)

I watch a lot of trash. I am a proud viewer of The Hills, Real Housewives of Orange County (and, of course, New York), Laguna Beach the Real Orange County, Rock of Love, etc. But rarely do I feel any enjoyment from watching cheesy, family-friendly shit (i.e., American Idol). These are generally not the shows for me. I like cursing, cleavage and random hook-ups. I do not like Ryan Seacrest and G ratings. However, I do have a secret love.

Dancing with the Stars.

(Thank you Jon for giving me the opportunity to indulge in my secret love!)

A.Beanie and I drove up to LA this afternoon to attend the live taping of tonight's show. We got ready in the locker room of our work building, because we are fancy like that. The attire requirements for the show were suits for the men and cocktail dresses for the women.

After standing in several few lines and making our way through security, we were seated in our assigned seating on the floor of the ballroom (phew, I did not want to be way up in the balcony section), about 4 rows back from the front row. When we were first seated, I was really excited with our seats. It seemed like we had the perfect view of the dance floor. We were directly across the floor from the 3 judges, and were only a couple rows behind the very front row. (Unfortunately, no cameras or cell phones were allowed inside the taping).

After being seated for only a few minutes, I happened to make eye contact with one of the production assistants walking around near us. He stopped, came over our way, and asked if we wanted to move. I was like, uh, yeah, of course. He walked us over to ridiculously VIP seats at the very front, telling us that we would be in the camera shots and that the people who had originally been seated in the two seats said they didn't want to be on camera. I was ecstatic! I am, after all, an attention grabbing whore.

A few minutes later, I let out what I hope was a very quite squeal, looked over at A.Beanie, and mouthed, "THAT'S THE BACHELOR!!!!!!!!!"

His hair was different than it is on the show (it's almost buzzed now), but I knew immediately that it was him. I was squirming in my seat trying to contain myself. I decided I had to talk to him.

Tap, tap, tap on his shoulder.

Me: So who did you pick?

Bachelor: Wouldn't you like to know?

Then he turned back around in his seat and ignored me.

I sat and stared in stunned silence for a minute. The bachelor blew me off! I know I asked a really lame question, but all I could think was, what a douchebag. He's totally in it for the greencard.

I don't know if he sensed my icy glare drilling a hole in the side of his head, but he turned around and asked: "Who did you want me to pick?"

Me: You already kicked her off.

Bach: Which one? Amanda? Were you an Amanda fan?

Me: I don't know her name. You sent her home last week. Brunette. Hiccups.

Bach: Oh, (laughing), you mean the "meaps." That's Amanda. She's a very nice girl.

Me: Yeah, she was really pretty.

Bach: Yeah, I got a lot of hate mail after I let her go.

Me: Oh. Wow.

Bach: Did you cry when I sent her home (laughing)?

Me: (Straight faced) Yes, for 30 minutes.

Bach (Turns to face me head-on, stunned) Really???

Me: No.

Bach: Oh (laughing). (Turns back around away from me)

Me: Only for 10 minutes.

Bach: (laughs)

That was it. It was a few minutes of pure reality show bliss.

A few minutes before the show is about to go live, the production assistant comes back over to me and says, I'm really sorry, but I have to ask you to go back to your old seats. I was like, what??? The PA says, yeah, I'm really sorry, but you have to go back. I asked him why and he said the people (who originally hadn't wanted to be on camera) wanted their seats back.
So. Incredibly. Pissed.


We go back to our original seats, which now pale in comparison to super special Bachelor VIP seats, and sit down, completely squished by the women surrounding us, and barely able to see over the few rows of people in front of us. Sadness.

All in all, I had a fabulous time, but nothing after that ever did measure up to my special momentary VIP seating and chat with THE bachelor.

Jason Taylor's wife is ridiculously (should be illegally) good looking, as is Emmett Smith's wife (Emmett made a guest appearance tonight).

Alex Mapa was there (Gabby's gaysian fashion friend on Desperate Housewives).

Simon Cowell's beautiful girlfriend (and her beautiful Louboutins) sat behind us. Simon's mom sat next to her. Simon was not there.

After the show, we ran into an older couple that had been sitting in the super special VIP area by the Bachelor, who asked us if we knew why we had gotten the boot out of the super special seats. It turns out the original set of people had not wanted their seats back. Apparently Marlee Matlin's sign language translator wanted the seats! Keep in mind that Marlee was voted off the show several weeks ago, and was not in attendance tonight. I got the boot for Marlee Matlin's sign language translator!!! WTF?

I knew I should stick to The Hills.

10 Comments, shout outs, and other gold diggin' love:

Aline said...

You are so effing cute it kills me.

Loved the bachelor conversation!!!

I could TOTALLY imagine you saying that.

BTW that was a hot dress you wore. I want your closet in my next life.

For that dress and your classy white coat.

Kim said...

Loved your dress! And F them for offering you better seats and then taking them back. Poor form.

dapotato said...

still loving gaysian.

you looked hot. sounds like a fun taping! the ones i've been to haven't been quite as exciting.

Claire said...

ooooh, you looked gorgeous! and if liking reality shows makes you a geek, then i'm right there with you. great recap!

wan-nabe said...

i love you so much for this post. i'm seriously peeing in my seat from giggling so hard.

you did look fab. the bachelor was probably wishing he'd picked you ;)

amber said...

what a fun night. and i'm loving the recap of your convo with the bachelor.

and how lame is it to give someone super cool seats and then take them back? ugh!

Ashley said...

You were flirting with the Bachelor!! You hussy :P Glad to know that he was nice to you!

10yearstogether said...

I don't watch the bachelor but I love the recap! Sorry you had to go back to the poor man's seats, although they still sound like they were great. I can't believe you saw so many celebs, you must have been foaming at the mouth, knowing you!

WeezerMonkey said...

It is stuff like this that makes you my fave new blogger.

KP said...

Still giggling! Way to tell Mr. British Bachelor a thing or two. You crack my sh*t up!

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